Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Love

"They say it is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved..."

If you can, read it with the music playing. I feel that it will add to the overall experience.

I read this saying a long time ago when I was barely 10 years old. I didn't agree then. Yet the words have stayed with me since. A year and a half ago, newly heartbroken; truly heartbroken for the first time in my life; I disagreed vehemently. 'It is better to never have loved, if you're to lose it all anyway!' thought my angry 19 year old self. What is the point of loving and losing anyway? I always used to argue this with myself. How can anyone miss what they never had? What is love anyway?

Why is love one of the greatest enigmas? Everyone knows what it is like to be in love yet no one knows what it is. It is there in every society, culture or civilization. Much has been said about it from Ancient Greece to modern day Australian aborigines, from the writers of philosophy to purveyors of pornography. Yet, curiously they all agree. Love. they say. is all powerful. Love is something that cannot be understood. Love is without boundary. Love happens. Love cannot be explained by the laws of logic. Yet no one knows what love is.

Yesterday, I watched a movie called Mr. Nobody. It was about the infinite webs of choices that lead one to their ends in life. It was also about love. The protagonist, Nemo, endures endless torment: years and years of living alone, boredom, physical pain, millions of lives lead and possibilities explored. All for love. To be with his love. I realized that I have never felt that way about anyone. In my entire life, I have never loved someone the way Nemo did. Selflessly, doubtlessly, eternally. What a beautiful thing is love! To never feel it, yet see its purifying effects on others. To watch them endure in the hope of a one in a million chance, watch them fight for it. Kill for it, die for it. Is painful. It's not a sensible torture. You feel no pain. Even pain is a presence. It's torture because you feel absence. Something missing. Yet you do not know what is missing. Because you have never felt it. And thus, you cannot stop wanting it. You can banish, ignore or endure pain. But  you cannot fight what you cannot see, cannot not-be what you've never been. Most of us go on living our lives without noticing it, but even the dullest among us knows, feels that gnawing void. Life is too short. And life is too long. Whatever we chose to make of it. This music reminds me of it. Like someone I knew long ago but don't remember now.

I hope I feel it before it's time to go. I hope everyone does.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Love

I hear the whisper of the wind in my ears
I see my breath rise in steam before my eyes
This silence is deafening
The steady soothing rhythm of water dropping
Why is my mind wandering?
Where does it go?
The realm of uncharted thought is vast
I fear it will be difficult for it to come back
I see him
He is so beautiful
Do I know who he is anymore?
He looks at me wonderingly
He knows not what I have become
To him I am new and fresh
To me he is unattainable
He is lost
He is beautiful all the more
I long for him
To be him once again
I run to touch him, to grasp him
Air and thoughts lose themselves in containment
His eyes full of laughter shine mockingly
Always he is one step away
He holds out his arm
To feel
To touch
To learn
His face changes
It is changing
The joy goes first
As always...
Naught but happiness remains
Contentment replaced by mere satisfaction
And sadness by sorrow
He is aging before my eyes
My wonder
My once-joy
My one true love
My child
My dream
My past
Me
Years pass
Fleetingly
I have lost what is most precious
Myself
I look at the past through a timeless mirror
Of tears is it?
The wonder is lost save for a few seconds
I will see him again
Before the end
Me
He is me again
I wish I could be him
Once more
I desire just his hunger
His wonder
His laughter
Him
Me


The rain beats against my window
I hear the whisper of the wind in my ears
I see my breath rise in steam before my eyes
This silence is deafening
I am insensitive
I am alone
With myself
Again....