Sunday, August 12, 2012


"They say it is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved..."

If you can, read it with the music playing. I feel that it will add to the overall experience.

I read this saying a long time ago when I was barely 10 years old. I didn't agree then. Yet the words have stayed with me since. A year and a half ago, newly heartbroken; truly heartbroken for the first time in my life; I disagreed vehemently. 'It is better to never have loved, if you're to lose it all anyway!' thought my angry 19 year old self. What is the point of loving and losing anyway? I always used to argue this with myself. How can anyone miss what they never had? What is love anyway?

Why is love one of the greatest enigmas? Everyone knows what it is like to be in love yet no one knows what it is. It is there in every society, culture or civilization. Much has been said about it from Ancient Greece to modern day Australian aborigines, from the writers of philosophy to purveyors of pornography. Yet, curiously they all agree. Love. they say. is all powerful. Love is something that cannot be understood. Love is without boundary. Love happens. Love cannot be explained by the laws of logic. Yet no one knows what love is.

Yesterday, I watched a movie called Mr. Nobody. It was about the infinite webs of choices that lead one to their ends in life. It was also about love. The protagonist, Nemo, endures endless torment: years and years of living alone, boredom, physical pain, millions of lives lead and possibilities explored. All for love. To be with his love. I realized that I have never felt that way about anyone. In my entire life, I have never loved someone the way Nemo did. Selflessly, doubtlessly, eternally. What a beautiful thing is love! To never feel it, yet see its purifying effects on others. To watch them endure in the hope of a one in a million chance, watch them fight for it. Kill for it, die for it. Is painful. It's not a sensible torture. You feel no pain. Even pain is a presence. It's torture because you feel absence. Something missing. Yet you do not know what is missing. Because you have never felt it. And thus, you cannot stop wanting it. You can banish, ignore or endure pain. But  you cannot fight what you cannot see, cannot not-be what you've never been. Most of us go on living our lives without noticing it, but even the dullest among us knows, feels that gnawing void. Life is too short. And life is too long. Whatever we chose to make of it. This music reminds me of it. Like someone I knew long ago but don't remember now.

I hope I feel it before it's time to go. I hope everyone does.


K.EIZ said...

Sayan, one has to be a fidayeen in love. I used to tell you, 'dekhloonga', knowing fully well, both I and I think you, that it will be an awesome show of emotional fireworks. All colours, blinding bright and blinding dark. But, at the end of the day, I honestly believe that it was worth everything. Will I take the plunge again? Like a fidayeen. So don't think, don't wait, just be ready. Because it will make you live long and die young.

The Hobgoblin said...


The Messenger said...

Love is for the dreamer. The man who is not scared to escape into an alternative reality. The man who desires it rather. Objectively speaking, people in love see, hear and feel things differently as compared to other people. People who come out of love feel the world has changed or is different.I think love is so popular because we desire intense emotions in life when life gets dull. Be it intense happiness, intense contentment or even intense sorrow. We desire complete emotions. What better way to get it all than bind your complicated self with another complicated human being with love. Love the music.

artika ashdhir said...

loving selflessly, undoubtedly and eternally only brings pain. all the movies depict this, n i know is overrated. i have never seen a real life couple who have lived happily every after. n how do we even know the concept of love by these movies n poets like u said..they have made love this thing which is only fiction!

Red Handed said...

You will feel it when you least expect it. Happened with me. Tried to burn it down and ignore it out but its immortal and makes you re-evaluate your reality. Makes you redefine your actual truth.