Monday, October 27, 2008

Ramblings... it a state of mind? Or is it our natural mental condition briefly interspersed with phases of ambivalence, more rarely contentment and rarest of all true happiness? Happiness differs from joy in that: happiness is a passive emotion, when its there one is aware of its existence but can rarely pinpoint its tangible LOCATION, i.e source. Joy on the other hand is a very active, rousing emotion obliterating all other feelings for the brief instants it manifests itself upon our consciousness. Yet there is no true counterpart, no antithesis for joy. Sorrow is not fit for this because the sudden drowning sensation, the suffocating burden we feel our mind subject to in those rare occasions of true sorrow is more SHOCK than SORROW. Misery is just the psychological analogue of a nagging pain, while depression is just an absolute loss of any feeling, a supreme blanket of indifference that smothers conscious feeling.

In this regard I feel that happiness can be equated with light. It needs a source, and as we move away from the source of light, or if the source be taken away, there is darkness. Joy may be considered a blinding flash of light coming from a source, whereas happiness may be related to a sort of were-light a sort of bright pall cast over the environment. Depression is when we cease to perceive light or darkness and sorrow a blanket...

Melancholy. Now there's something I've always related to sepia. It is the colour of sunset half begun and half complete. A beautiful colour. It is the sublime blend of light and darkness in perfection as we see at dusk's birth when light mingles with darkness, when happiness and contentment and sadness are one, when all is one colour....Sepia. The colour of ambivalent contemplation, of solitude unstained by loneliness when results don't matter, when Fate, Destiny, Time, Meaning, Love, Order, Reason...all merge with the Self and the ONE is the ALL and ALL is the ONE and both ARE and yet, are NOT and are never and were always and ephemeral and eternal and all merge into the universe and the universe enters into all....Sepia.
Melancholy. A flowing river smooth and still as a lake and yet deep as the ocean and the bottom surface can be seen but not PERCEIVED. What matters perception when everything is different from different vantages?

1 comment:

Aarushi said...

Scrutiny. That's something I relate to you.
I agree with mostly everything.
Melancholy. Like a vivid dream. So real, and yet, so whimsical. So hard to remember, so chronic.